disney | text posts
Did you know in that Australia it’s five times more likely a you’ll pick a partner based on humour rather then looks so if you’re ugly but a hilarious motherfucker then you’re almost guaranteed love
yea but have u ever seen an ugly australian
Parent: what does a cow say?
Parent: yes! And what does a sheep say?
Parent: yay! And what does a pig say?
Baby: *whistles* "damn babygirl u a fine piece'a ass wanna hop n my car n ill drive ya to pound town!!"
Kindergarten: Stupid. Oh gosh don’t tell anyone I said that.
Elementary school: What the heck.
Middle School: Damn it this is freaking dumb as hell
High school: what the fuck did you just say you little fucking shitbitchcuntfuck I will beat the dicks out of your ass
College: what the frick frack snick snack are u doing
My five year old cousin sent me a box of homemade cookies with a note that said they were blueberry flavored.
sweetie they are pink with strawberry pieces, I think they are strawberry
THIS TASTES LIKE BLUEBERRIES
HOW DO THEY TASTE LIKE BLUE BERRIES
I THINK WE HAVE A SORCERERS PROTEGEE ON OUR HANDS
is that a large poster of Jensen Ackles?
ofcoursenotwhatareyoutalkingaboutI like this kid